With so many grassroots organizations newly formed or revitalized in response to the new Republican order in Washington, debate over the best way to combat Donald Trump’s nonsense has become a huge deal. Vigils? Marches? Sit-ins? Letters to Congress? Active resistance? Passive resistance? Tax strikes? Strategies abound and agreement is hard to come by.
I’m generally in support of each approach, but another one came to me in a dream last night. And I feel like sharing.
How about this? All the progressives and other strong-minded people of this fine nation, we hold some bake sales, sell off some stock, cash in some 401Ks and raid the college fund and then we pool all that money together and offer it to Trump. Here’s, say, $100 million. Resign and it’s all yours.
There are downsides, of course. Some will argue that $100 million isn’t enough. Trump’s almost as rich as he thinks he is and doesn’t need the money. But hasn’t he done dirty rotten things to creditors and vendors for a lot less. Hasn’t he shown that he’ll do anything for a buck? Hmm. Step down? Let me think about it. Are we talking cash?
OK, maybe it’s illegal. Perhaps it could be interpreted as a bribe. So we launder the money. Through Mexico or Syria. Trump says it is easy to get anyone or anything over those borders. Or we don’t make it a direct tit for tat. We say the $100 million is salary for his new job as an inspirational speaker and, unfortunately, it’s a full-time gig, so goodbye White House. He’s not really comfortable there anyway. Not enough glitter.
Some will argue that the money would have been better spent on something else. I hate that argument because it could be made when money is spent on just about anything. What? You spent all that money fixing a dam?
One downside is that if Trump goes, we get Pence. Which is a real concern. But while Pence was a horrible governor of Indiana, he isn’t as sneaky as Trump and probably isn’t as dishonest. He certainly isn’t as creative, and, therefore, he isn’t as dangerous. Plus, if Pence needs to be impeached, it’s certain that he would be replaced by someone better than Pence. A few more impeachments and Elizabeth Warren would be president.
So is this suggestion serious? That’s certainly a good question, one that probably should be asked but only by someone friendly to the Monterey Bay Partisan and its mission to save ourselves from ourselves. I think the voting public is going to force Trump out of office well before his four years are up. All those GOP congressional types facing elections in two years will want him gone before then, and there’s a fine chance he will have or already has committed some high crime, the sort that gets one impeached. They tried to run Bill Clinton out of office for doing the kind of things Trump brags about. I also suspect Trump won’t be in office long after his tax returns see the light of day. The government has the originals and the Russians probably have copies.
But as backup plans go, mine isn’t the worst. The smart thing, of course, would be for the $100 million to be an illusion, bait, part of a con, so we could keep the money and use it for a national dose of Ativan. They say you can’t con an honest man, which suggests that Trump would be a particularly easy mark. Look at how Steve Bannon tricked him into naming that 31-year-old nut job from Santa Monica as special adviser. I suspect Bannon was just trying to see if Trump had any standards at all.
Either way, we’d have to cooperate, more than half the U.S. population pulling together to come up with $100 million, which is like 75 cents apiece. If the con doesn’t work, fine. Trump gets to keep the money but we’re rid of him and if Pence doesn’t work out any better, we should be able to buy him out for a lot less.
For now, we probably should keep this to ourselves. Then again, if the idea spreads, it could make it into the national press at some point, maybe even the New York Times or Washington Post, which guarantees that Trump will never see it coming.